2d visit: It’s been hard to blog on this trip

Last year I found the little town of El Sauce and fell in love with it. I wrote about what that was like -- the Spanish language, the amazing food, the friendly people who were never angry, the fun of working on a 4 Walls house. When I planned this trip I worried that it couldn’t be as satisfying as last year's. I was right.

Yes, I’ve done what I loved last year. I’ve blushed when people told me my Spanish was good. I’ve gorged on my favorite foods with my favorite people. I’ve hauled bricks, blown my nose on my collar, and stunk of sweat. But, no. These six weeks in El Sauce have been hard. Unsatisfying. 

The staggering disparity of wealth between me and them makes me sick. I don't know what to do with it, except cry a little and try to figure out my next step.

The little girl who needs notebooks has a mom who needs an asthma inhaler. A baby has diarrhea and not enough diapers. A visa application to the U.S. costs $160 and everyone wants one. Friends who planned to go to the beach bow out because they can’t contribute for gas. A guy works in his bare feet. There are pens with no ink and classrooms with no blackboards. There is a new bank with an ATM, but only gringos use it.

Many people know me now and call me by name. Es feo to write about them from my shiny MacBook.